


TRACK ONE — who do you love?

by 00zens



Series: all about luv [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Established Relationship, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Mentioned Na Jaemin, Mentioned Suh Youngho | Johnny, donghyuck is confused, mark just wants to enjoy a dinner date with his boyfriend :(, this one's all angst i'm very sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-20
Updated: 2020-03-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:54:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23228185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/00zens/pseuds/00zens
Summary: "who do you love? [boy], it's killing me. if you can't say that i'm the one for sure, then i'm walkin' out the door."orin which donghyuck can't seem to make a decision regarding his feelings, and over time mark grows tired of it.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Series: all about luv [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1670110
Comments: 3
Kudos: 39





	TRACK ONE — who do you love?

**Author's Note:**

> here's fic one of my 'all about luv' series! i am writing a fic for each song on the 'all about luv' album by monsta x and posting weekly :) this one was my first time writing heavier angst, i hope it turned out okay :] enjoy!

quite frankly, mark was tired. he pressed the ‘end call’ button for the fifth time that evening, before sighing and raising his hand slightly to call the waitress over. she was at his table quickly, as the restaurant was almost completely empty at this point.

“i’m really sorry if i’ve wasted your time, but i think i’m gonna head out now. my boyfriend got held up at work.” mark put on a fake smile as he handed her a generous tip. she smiled sympathetically at him, taking the money before bowing. 

“it’s no problem, sir. thank you for the tip! hope to see you soon.” she waved as the boy walked out.

mark pulled his coat closer to him as he walked to his car, the night breeze being too strong for his liking. as he put his seatbelt on, he sent donghyuck a text.

“hey, this is the second date this month you haven’t shown up to. i’m not mad, just a little disappointed, i guess. call me when you see this.” it read.

the boy rubbed his hands together quickly as an attempt to warm them up before connecting his phone to the aux and driving off.

mark always loved driving alone. it was a good time to think, though not too much or else he’d get distracted from the road. his mind couldn’t help but drift to donghyuck, wondering what was so important that the boy had to stand him up again. 

he was hurt, who wouldn’t be? but he couldn’t lie and say a small part of him didn’t expect it, especially with how donghyuck had been acting around him lately. the boy was always on his phone, clearly more immersed in his text conversation than the story mark was telling him.

he cut his thoughts off momentarily as he pulled into his driveway, seeing all the lights in his house were still off. mark made a mental note of it, knowing not to expect donghyuck on his couch like he had last time he had come home from a failed date. mark sighed heavily at the memory, a slight bitterness bubbling in the pit of his stomach.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

that time, they had planned to meet at the restaurant mark had been practically begging donghyuck to go with him to. the boy had even offered to pay for everything, even though it was a fancier restaurant and the prices would definitely hurt his wallet.

after mark’s relentless requests to go on a date there, donghyuck finally agreed, telling mark he was free that friday. the older was ecstatic.

until, friday night came. donghyuck had told mark to go ahead again, saying he had to stop by a friend’s house to get stuff he had left. mark wondered why he couldn’t just go with the boy to pick up his stuff, but didn’t question the boy.

an hour passed. mark got to the restaurant, shooting donghyuck a text as soon as he was seated. the younger replied quickly, telling him he’d be there soon. 

another fifteen minutes goes by, and mark is nibbling on the complementary appetizers as he texts donghyuck again, this time not getting a response. the boy sat anxiously, wondering if he should just order for the both of them so they could eat right when donghyuck arrived. he let another few minutes pass before deciding. “yeah,” he thought. “that works.”

after looking over the menu again, mark called the waiter over. “hi, my boyfriend will be here soon but i was wondering if i could order now for the both of us?” 

the waiter nodded, “yes, of course!” he took out his notepad as mark listed the dishes, adding on a glass of wine for himself. he thanked the waiter and looked back down at his phone.

mark frowned. “where is he?” he mumbled to himself. 

soon enough, the food arrived. mark let out a chuckle at the irony of the situation. the food he ordered almost fifteen minutes prior had arrived before his boyfriend, who he had been waiting for for over half an hour now.

on the bright side, the food looked amazing. he ordered what his friend, jaemin, had recommended to him the week prior and he was glad to have trusted his judgement. his mouth was almost watering as he marveled at the food.

a few minutes passed again, and mark was beginning to get frustrated. he sighed and attempted to slow his breathing, feeling his emotions get the best of him. the boy blinked back his tears that were forming and pressed the call button on donghyuck’s contact. 

it went straight to voicemail. but he tried again. and again. and again. 

still nothing.

mark huffed in frustration before shoving his phone back into his pocket. he could see his food getting colder, and he was not going to let whatever donghyuck was pulling ruin his night. so he ate. 

twenty minutes later, he was calling the waiter over and asking for the other meal to get packed to take home. the waiter smiled at him pitifully before handing mark the check and taking the untouched plate.

mark sighed as he saw the price of his food. “what a waste.” he mumbled.

the waiter came back with his to-go box of food before taking mark’s card. as he walked away again, mark looked down at his food to see text notifications from donghyuck.

“baby! oh my god i’m so sorry”

“i lost track of time catching up with renjun… i’m so sorry my angel are you still at the restaurant? i can make it if i leave right now :(“

mark laughed, a bitter taste in his mouth. “i’m leaving now, hyuck.” he texted back.

“baby… are you mad? come to mine, we can still hang out? you can stay the night, jeno’s not home.” donghyuck’s reply read.

“i’m not mad. i don’t know, donghyuck. feeling kinda tired. i’ll just head home and go to bed.” mark typed before looking up at the sight of his card and receipt being placed on the table.

he put his debit card back in his wallet before taking the receipt. his expression turned into one of confusion seeing his bill was cut in half. mark looked up at the waiter. “thank you for the discount, but why?”

“no one likes getting stood up. other half is on me. i’ve been in your position countless times.” the waiter let out an empty laugh.

mark looked back down at his receipt before sighing. “thank you. here, for tip.” he handed the man a large bill. he giggled seeing the waiter’s eyes widen almost comically, before insisting. “please. take it.”

the waiter, who mark now recognized as johnny from his name tag, grinned as he took the money gratefully. “thank you so much, sir. have a good rest of your night.” 

mark smiled in response before standing up to put his jacket back on and leaving. the walk to his car felt long, his footsteps almost as heavy as the feeling in his heart.

his phone continued to buzz with notifications, presumably from his boyfriend, but he couldn’t be bothered to check them. he turned on the radio instead of connecting to the aux, some lauv song replacing what would usually be a frank ocean song as he drove.

mark knew donghyuck had to have a reason to… stand him up. god, did it feel weird to put that sentence together. a frown was planted on the boy’s face for the rest of his drive. 

he huffed in frustration as he parked in his driveway, seeing the lights in his living room on. he vividly remembered turning them off before leaving, which only meant one thing. donghyuck had come over and let himself in.

the older kept his eyes planted to the ground as he unlocked his front door, taking off his shoes as soon as he walked in.

“markie!” he heard footsteps come closer to him.

the boy sighed quietly as he looked up with tired eyes at his boyfriend. the latter’s happiness visibly vanished at the sight of an exhausted mark.

“what are you doing here, donghyuck? i told you i just wanted to rest tonight.” mark spoke, walking past the boy towards his bedroom.

donghyuck trailed behind him like a puppy, fiddling with his hands. “yeah, i know, but i felt bad for tonight, that was a really dick move. i was thinking we could just spend the rest of the night together. we don’t have to do anything special just… i wanted to be with you.”

mark continued to rummage through his drawers for pajamas as he began to respond.

“i’m going to be honest, donghyuck. tonight hurt my feelings, especially since you’re the one who has been saying how we haven’t gone out enough but then you completely flake on me. i think it’s best if i’m alone tonight.”

donghyuck gasped quietly at the serious, assertive tone mark had spoke in. “i’m sorry, mark. i really did just lose track of time… i know it doesn’t excuse what i did but i do want you to know how sorry i am.” 

the younger grew confused as mark’s eyes stayed on him wordlessly. “why are you looking at me like that? is there something on my fa-”

“have you been drinking?”

donghyuck’s eyes widened, and mark shook his head as he let out a dry laugh.

“how did you-”

“your face is red, donghyuck. i know what you look like after a few glasses of wine.” mark responded shortly. 

donghyuck frowned and looked down at the floor. 

“could you leave now? i don’t mean to sound angry, i’m not, but i’m just really exhausted from this week.” mark put on a fake smile.

“yeah… i’ll, um, i’ll see myself out. text me tomorrow?” donghyuck asked as he made his way to the door. 

mark nodded slowly before closing his bedroom door behind the boy. 

that night, he couldn’t ignore the pain in his chest when he saw a laughing, tipsy donghyuck on renjun’s instagram story.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

“you’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” mark mumbled as he got a text notification from jeno.

“hey,” it read. “didn’t you and donghyuck have a date tonight? why’s he with renjun in our living room lmao”

“i wish i knew hahah” mark replied before throwing his phone down on his bed.

the boy buried his face in his pillows before groaning loudly. “what the hell do i do?”

this feeling of coming second in donghyuck’s life was all too familiar to mark. he was beyond hurt at this point, his emotions finally being strong enough to cause tears to stream down his face.

his mind was racing at a mile a minute as he silently cried into his pillow. he hated the feeling of insecurity that was creeping up on him, one he hadn’t experienced since before he and donghyuck began dating almost a year before. 

mark’s sadness slowly faded, only to return as anger moments later. he sat up, wiping the remaining tears under his eyes before standing up. he checked his phone only to see an instagram story notification from none other than donghyuck. it was a boomerang of him and renjun, sitting on the former’s living room couch with wine glasses in hand. 

the older boy scoffed at the sight, walking out of his bedroom to get his shoes. he laced them up quickly, and soon he was slamming his front door shut and getting straight into his car. 

after all this time, mark finally realized. the only way to get donghyuck to do anything was to really confront him. and that’s exactly what he planned to do.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

the ride to donghyuck and jeno’s shared apartment felt longer than usual, but mark thought it was just the result of his mind trying to figure out what he was going to say to his boyfriend when he arrived.

the elevator ride was even worse, a terrible nervous feeling bubbling in the lowest part of the boy’s stomach as he waited for it to stop at donghyuck’s floor.

finally, he was in front of the boy’s door. without much thought, he brought his fist up and knocked. mark thought the expression on jeno’s face when he opened the door was priceless.

“jen, who is i一 mark?” donghyuck’s eyes practically popped out of their sockets as he took in the sight of his boyfriend. mark watched as he rubbed the side of his neck before pulling his hood over his head quickly.

“mark,” the younger laughed nervously. jeno took this as his cue to walk back into his room.

“what are you doing here?” he asked.

mark felt the need to laugh, so he did. “what am i doing here? what are you doing here, donghyuck? i had a great night planned for us but you couldn’t even show up to dinner. again.” 

he watched as the boy’s face fell in realization.

“i’m sorry, mark. i- i got caught up一” donghyuck was cut off by mark.

“what? with renjun, again? just like last time? do you ever think about how tiring this is for me, donghyuck? to constantly be forgotten because of someone who you continuously claim to be just a friend?” 

donghyuck’s jaw dropped in response to the boy’s outburst. “i can explain, mark. can we sit and talk?”

mark was about to respond when his breath hitched in his throat at the sight of a figure walking into the room. 

renjun. 

“hyuck, where’d you一 oh.” renjun stopped in his tracks and hastily pulled his hood on, bringing out a scoff from mark.

“jun, could you stay in the living room? i just have to talk to mark.” donghyuck smiled weakly at the boy. renjun only nodded in response, his quiet footsteps being the only thing you could hear.

“i think we can talk perfectly fine here, donghyuck.” mark spoke after a moment of silence.

the younger nodded, his hands fiddling with each other awkwardly as he thought of what to say. “renjun and i are just friends. we planned to hangout today… our date must’ve slipped my mind. i’m sorry, baby.”

mark winced at the sound of the pet name. “is that not what happened… literally last week? why is it always him, donghyuck?” his voice broke at the end as a tear slipped from his eye.

“i一 i don’t know, mark.” donghyuck whispered in defeat.

“what were you guys doing before i came?” mark asked.

donghyuck froze before shaking his head. “we were just eating and talking. we were planning on putting on a一”

“bullshit.” mark cut him off. “i’m not stupid, donghyuck. and you’re acting like we haven’t known each other for years.”

“i’m sorry.” the younger whispered in defeat. “i didn’t mean to.”

mark’s heart shattered. they looked at each other for a few moments, both not saying a word until mark broke the silence.

“hey,” he whispered softly. his eyes met the boy’s before he asked. “him or me, donghyuck?” 

donghyuck’s world seemed to shatter at that very moment.

“wait一 what? mark…” he began.

“i asked,” mark’s voice broke again as he attempted to stabilize his breathing. “him or me?”

“if you can’t give me a sure, honest answer… i don’t know if i can do this anymore, donghyuck.”

the younger wiped at his tears before shaking his head. “i don’t一 i don’t know, mark. i’m sorry.” he whispered, looking at mark. donghyuck was pleading with his eyes, begging mark not to leave.

mark let out a shaky breath before rubbing his hands together.

“alright, then. i guess that’s it. thank you, donghyuck… for being honest. i’m sorry it had to be like this.” mark smiled sincerely through his tears, only breaking donghyuck’s heart further.

before the boy could react, mark turned quickly and made his way out of donghyuck’s apartment.

**Author's Note:**

> there's track one done, nine more to go! i hope you liked it... though i got sad writing it so i'm not sure if you're feeling very happy right now :( as always feel free to leave kudos/comments!! follow me on twitter if you'd like, @renminsung :] you can also leave thoughts in my cc, link in my twt bio!! til next time :D


End file.
